new! my mom was cleaning the house in a skirt. when she bent down i saw her panties. awk. [editor's note: what's awkward is that you were checking out your mother when she bent over.]
new! today, I told my boyfriend I love him for the first time. he just looked at me for a good 30 seconds then just said okay and then looked away. awk.
new! i thought she was talking to me. but, nope, she was on the phone. awk.
new! he told me he was single, and i believed him, until his wife showed up at the restaurant on our third date. awk.
new! my boyfriend and i signed a lease together and then broke up a month later. awk.
no joke: my dad stopped the conversation during Thanksgiving dinner to ask what teabagging is.
i went home with a guy who kept a bowl of fruit by his bed. i don't know if he eats it for breakfast, but it's hard not to think of how you could use fruit during sex when it's sitting next to the lube. awk.
some guy hit on me big time at a sports bar. i told him i was straight, but he didn't believe me at first. after some loud, bar-volume explaining, he left quickly. now i've moved into the dorm, and my roommate and i share a bathroom with two other guys. guess who i share it with? awk.
my dad asked what a milf is, and my boyfriend said, 'your wife.' awk.
in homeroom, i got a boner right before we had to stand to say the pledge of allegiance. i kept a book in front of my crotch. i'm not sure whether anyone could tell. awk.
an old man insisted on buying me a drink. when i asked his name, he said that he wouldn't tell. awk.
i tried to slip the maître d’ a $20 because i didn't have a reservation, but he didn't get the hint. awk.
my prom date ditched me, and showed up at my after party with another dude. awk.
she told me all about herself, but i already knew it all from facebook. awk.
i swear, in the terribly long silence that followed me coming out to my parents, 'i kissed a girl' started playing on the radio. awk.
my boyfriend moved next door to me. we broke up a month later. awk.
my grandma just figured out how to change the channel on the tv, and discovered pay-per-view..."What's Chica Booty Bangers 3?" she asked. awk.
she wasn't waving at me. awk.
i overheard some lady in the supermarket loudly describing her appointment with her proctologist. all i can say is, things are not looking pretty over there. awk.
i was walking down an aisle when i came face to face with a stranger. intent on letting him pass, i shuffled to my right. he shuffled to his left. the process repeated. awk.
i opened up the bathroom door, and my grandma was taking a poo. she forgot to lock the bathroom door. awk.
i was zoning off during class, and accidentally was staring at my teacher's package. he saw me, and shuffled uncomfortably. awk.
i took a really long poo while other people were waiting to use the bathroom. i could hear them complaining. awk.
i was brushing my hair in the girls bathroom during the Stanford basketball game. when i heard the door to one of the stalls open, i turned around, only to find a guy walking out of the stall, in the process of zipping up his fly. he saw me and looked totally horrified. i laughed. awk.
i opened the bathroom door and my mom was sitting on the toilet seat. awk.
this guy i had been texting invited me to his party. i had only seen him once before and i didn't remember exactly what he looked like. when I got to the party and saw him i just stared for a second until he came towards me. i still didn't realize that it was him so I just said, 'hey, you look familiar.' awk.
my boss was fixing the slushie machine with this tube full of gell stuff. i picked up the tube and it was called 'LUBE - a handy gel to fix things'. i burst out laughing, and my boss asked me what I was laughing at. awk.
a wave knocked her over and her left boob popped out. she didn't notice, and nobody told her. awk.
i farted loudly during math class, then moved my chair as a cover-up. awk.
my friend was wearning so much makeup that i didn't recognize her at first. i told her that. awk.
my professor had enormous pit stains on his shirt today. i didn't know a human could sweat so much from standing up. awk.
i just found out that my last boyfriend turned gay. this has happened far too many times. 6 i think? awk.
just spent a 52-floor elevator ride standing next to a guy whose name i really ought to know, but don't. awk.
i accidentally dropped a coin on the ground in front of a homeless guy. awk.
today my grandpa told me that he had just gotten a really good blowjob. i didn't realise he was talking about a hairdryer. awk.
my mom thought it would be funny to watch a Harold and Kumar movie with me. it had a lot of nudity. i am 11. awk.
it was family dinner night and my dad was trying to carve some meat, but wasn't doing so well. my sister asked, "why don't you go at it from the other side?"... natually, i blurted "thats what she said". he winked. awk.
i'm a freshman in high school. awk.
my mom was a slut for halloween. so was my girlfriend. mom looked wayy better. awk.
i dress like a ninja because its cool. [editor's note: awk].
today i had a typical awkward encounter. i thought about how often encounters like these happen to me, and i decided that i should start a website where people could freely post their awkward moments. i got excited about what i thought was a genius and unique idea. I told a friend about my idea in a somewhat cocky manner, to which she responded by showing me this website. we sat in silence for a long time. awk.
i got a prostate examination. and an erection. when the nurse was done she gave me her phone number. turns out it was the rejection hotline. awk.
last night i ditched a guy during a date. he was my waiter at the diner the next morning. awk.
while packing up the car for my trip back to LA, my grandmother mentioned "you have a lot of junk in your trunk!". i abruptly burst out laughing. she didn't. i explained. awk.
i gave my friend a quick high-five. she wasn't paying attention, and i ended up missing her hand, and grabbed her boob instead. she responded, "lets do that more often". awk.
i'm going to college next year, and i found a cool girl with the same major as me on facebook, so I sent her a friend request. a week later, we ended up having to walk around all day together at orientation, but we never talked. awk.
i was walking down the hallway in school, chatting with someone I had just met. as we were about to part ways, i said "see you later!" and waved. we kept walking in the same direction for 30 seconds. awk.
the bus to work was completely empty. a man got on the bus, and sat down right next to me. awk.